You decide.

I was at an event this past weekend where someone I didn't know told me "You have a cute nose." It's a pretty weird thing to say, but it's not that much weirder than a lot of other comments that solely address appearance. Whenever this happens, I want to somehow explain every cell, thought, belief in my body - all the other things that describe and define me - but that's pretty difficult. I sometimes feel like who I am is out of my control.

Truthfully, I'm obsessed with image and always have been. I care about how I look, and about how I'm perceived. I'm not mad that my nose is cute. I'm mad that there's so much more to me, and it's so much harder for people to see. I'm mad that people think commenting on nose cuteness is an appropriate social interaction.

Most people probably remember being taught that perception is on the outside, and not worth worrying about. It's who you are on the inside that counts, and no one can take that away from you. But on the other hand, there isn't such a solid line between outside and inside. Or between real and perceived. Or between now and the future. Oh boy.

Maybe it's a merging, or a reconciliation. I'm not that different at thirty than I was at three:

Super focused. Loves sweaters. Definitely does not color inside the lines.

But obviously, I've been through a lot more at thirty and those experiences have made me more capable of making decisions about who I am. People often describe life as a journey, but I'd say it's a process. You build, review, and change the process until it works optimally. Sometimes you choose the inputs and sometimes you don't, but you get to decide how they contribute to the process. Over time, you decide who you want to be, and hopefully you use that power for good. After a while, maybe those decisions become so strong that people are compelled to perceive you the way you see yourself. But if that's not the case, at least you got to decide.

I find that to be an incredible freedom, and also a good mantra. You decide.